Over the weekend I had a fairly mild incident happen before my eyes and I had to take a moment to actually evaluate my participation prior to engaging.... Let me explain a little further...
I was out with my family (partner, son, baby daughter & myself) it was just after dinner and the kids had a late nap so we decided to take advantage of the beautiful fat fluffy snowflakes and the barely used sleds (as we've had such mild winter weather, until now) and head for the teeny baby hill at out local park for a little tobogganing.
Everything was as usual, except the night had fallen (not our usual park playtime) but in the winter 4:00pm is dark! So anywhoo,... we we're all having a great time and we we're leaving the hill for the play structure/equipment behind the hill. Just for visual sake - there is the back of a church and parking lot facing the hill and park - many residents and patrons park here and it's usually no big deal. So as we are heading to the play equipment, I notice a large white van parking and then spinning his wheels as he gets "stuck" on the icy lot. I watch as he spins his wheels (I'm still following the kids but keeping an eye as it is dark after all,.. you just never know what happens and you have to always be careful - especially when with kids in tow)
I say to my partner -
"Should we go help?" and he said to me
"Well the guy did it to himself, he parked in one spot and was fine and then he moved into the next spot and got stuck,.. it's his own fault" - Hrmmmmmmmmm.... I thought.
I really felt the need to help, but I suppose I was also looking for a reason not to help as i kept on thinking of the potential risks involved. Pre-Children, and in younger free-willy days I would have never really thought twice about this.... So I went on in to the park area and tried not to think about it.
I couldn't really hear the tires much when I was playing in the park with the kids (sliding, towing baby sled, swinging, round a' bout, teeter totter - everything takes on a new fun quality with snow on it) but when we decided to finally head home for bedtimes, we saw and heard that the truck was still there and stuck - the driver still trying to get it out of there - no one had come out of their house to help, no one passing by stopped to help. ... So there I was about 7:00pm at night with a 4 yr old, 9 mth old baby, and wimpy partner ... here was my dilemma:
I wanted to help, perhaps I could drive the truck and the 2 guys push,.. but there was lots of ice,... and the truck was very large and heavy -
#1 - What if it lunged forward and crushed one or both of them against the fence, or slipped underneath it?
#2 - What about the kids, I would have to leave them (albeit close to us) on the side of the sidewalk while I helped,.. it's cold, dark and I couldn't keep my eyes on them and help at the same time. My 4 year old is smart and a great helper but he surely doesn't replace a responsible and confident parent. What if they got taken or hurt (if the truck flung something from under it's wheels or the vehicle went flying in their direction while they lay helpless in their sleds?!
#3 - What if this is some kind of a scam,.. the guy is a crazy person or has weapons and is just waiting for some unsuspecting "good Samaritan" so he can wreak havoc on that person and others?! I don't feel very secure or safe by my partners side, unfortunately if anything wild or wicked happened I feel I would be the one to "save" us.
Needless to say I felt torn - by my overactive imagination (media induced) and my natural born desire to help others in need. I mean if it was me
(mind you I'm a woman, not that that should matter alot but in times where strength is needed - let's face it girls - we absolutely need the Man Power) I would have really wanted some good old fashioned neighbourly help. BUT then again I would have used my cell phone to call someone first and or walked away from the car to a public place to wait or locked my doors and waited patiently for help (after a confirmed call).
Okay SO We DID STOP to help (Not without a healthy back and forth from my reluctant partner). At first my partner (Kevin) went, and the guy got out and asked Kevin to drive while HE pushed in the front (the lot was on an angle and he was pushing the truck upwards). Then I stood with the kids and just thought this was going to take forever, and then how would we walk away? So I went against my intuition about leaving the kids and said,..
"Hey, why don't I drive while you both push"... I was thinking I may have done something wrong here,.. but I just at this point wanted to get the guy out of there so I could get the kids home.
It took about 2-3 minutes but we got him turned around and out of that slippery spot. The kids were fine, but I'm sure a little nervous as they watched and listened to the screeching tires - my 4 year old always looks bright eyed and asks a gazillion questions when he's nervous, which in this case was no different. :) I tried to answer him calmly and clearly to ease his tension and when we finally reached home he seemed fine.
So I'm not sure if I made the right call to go and help, but sometimes I just have to go against my better judgement - I mean how many times do we walk/drive by situations or people we see in need and just keep on walking, or put our heads down and try to ignore it? I am SO guilty of that - especially in a city where almost every major intersection and subway stairwell is adorned with a "homeless" person - people begging for "change"
(aren't we all working for a reason, who has change to "spare" I mean we're all working hard to just scrape by too, why do we feel compelled to throw our change at someone just because they are sitting on the side of the road? well that's another pet-peeve for another post time ahaha) or just harassing the general public obviously intoxicated, mentally ill or otherwise (very sad, really). It is hard to see the light and figure out just who is in need of help and then again, who will actually want it or take the help. Pride and terror have such firm grasps' over our human psyche.
I have been known to walk up to strangers when they look like they need help, in pain (a crying woman, a desolate mother, a frightened child, a lost senior) lost (many tourists -
I have a hospitality background that may be where that comes in ahahaha) fighting (
I once had a neighbour In an apt building who used to get the crap kicked out of her every night while they drank themselves silly - I couldn't stand the noise and thought she must be on her death bed, I called the cops many times - and she always denied the claims, and then argued with me later!) or people have been known to walk up to me and ask for help.. I guess i just have that kind of aura or something. Have you ever been shopping and had people think you work there and ask you for help to a certain department or price or item of clothing? HAHAHAHA I get this almost monthly when out shopping - doesn't matter who I'm with or what I am wearing ahahahhaha.
So I am not a stranger to helping, I love to do it and in some ways I think that is what I was put here on earth to do. (
hope this isn't coming out sounding conceited, I am writing with witty mind and generous heart if that helps you find the tone in this post hee hee) There is a point in here somewhere!
In closing, I'd like to say that I think I did the right thing, maybe not the best laid out plan, but the right thing at the time. I also picked up some flying litter off a main downtown street (while several dozens of people just dodged it - hoping it would disappear maybe?) the day before and deposited them in the closest recycling / litter box. It only took me 30 seconds to do, and didn't give me cooties or anything! ahahhaha
Anywhoo,
I guess my point is that sometimes it doesn't take much to help out and support our city and sometimes you really have to weigh the odds. Generosity in this day and age is risky - I really wish it didn't have to be, BUT it's really other humans that have created this unsafe and un-trusting world.
It's just our job to see how we fit in it all, and where we are going to make a mark as we journey through life. I'd like to think my little gestures now and then make a lasting impression on my children (the future leaders of our world) and the people around me - knowing I helped even just one person believe this can be and will be a nicer, kinder place to live.
What's your take? Have you had any similar experiences? Love to hear from you.
This past summer they faced their greatest crisis together when Lang was diagnosed with a rare form of skin cancer. "The skin doctor basically told me to go home and die," says Lang. Gillespie, 51, now a school principal, was devastated. "It was horrible, awful. I've lost both my parents and my husband's parents but I've never experienced anything like how I felt when I found out what the doctor told Jane," she says. 
A friend in need
The women met in Sunday school sometime around the second grade and though Winnifred and her sister moved to the U.S. in their teen years, they've remained close through most of the 20th century. For many years they visited each other annually. Campbell says Winnifred always showed up to support her through the good and bad times of her life -- her wedding (Winnifred was a bridesmaid), the birth of her children, the death of one of her children and the loss of her husband when she was 62. "At times, we've been busy with our own lives, but we've always kept in touch, always phoned and sent Christmas and birthday cards," says Campbell. 
I hold for all of you women & men that you find or have a friend as special as that and your health is enriched with vitality and joy forever!
