Quote:
"One of the marks of an intelligent woman is to be able to distinguish between what is worth doing and what isn't, and to set priorities."
Hrmmmmmm *Grimace* ...a theme for my week
Well thank you to all who have been checking in on me - and as most of you know it has been a trial of my strength and courage - ah hell, and SHEER WILL that I made it through these last 2 weeks! I won't go into dirty details, but lets just say the situation at with "hubby" got violent and that pushed me to my last straw and I put my foot down and made some hard decisions.
My kids and I will be moving out of the city and finding solace in a small (ish) town far away from the zippy fast pace of the urbanites. It's a great place to raise children and a family from what I've witnessed (Hollah A.P. :) ) and been told by others (thanks J.C.) and I'm really looking forward to the new life we will be establishing in a few short weeks. Mind you, I know I will have my days where I will mourn the relationship (even though I logically know it's not right and wasn't from the start) and I will mourn the dream of the Norman Rockwell family that I so wanted from the start, if only the man was the right man. This is all a part of the healing and rebuilding process.
So anywhoo, this quote is just so telling of my life so far and especially revealing of this past week. It was by sheer luck (or forces of nature) that I chose this quote out of a box at my counselling center - they really know their stuff there! (By the way, if you or someone you know is going through anything rough I HIGHLY recommend counselling to help guide you through it
every step of the way - life is too hard to try and figure it all out alone - P.S. this is a great place if you are in the GTA http://www.inner-directions.ca/ they support all kinds of relationships and lifestyles! Just wonderful)Well the point here today is that I'm rising above the shit, I'm moving forward and that really takes a load off my brain and shoulders. I am to the core an action-oriented individual, and sitting on the fence talking alot and not making a move really gets my blood boiling. So I tend to get really hard on myself until I can reach a solution - cause there is always and I mean ALWAYS a better way. It's just that sometimes the fog takes over and we can't see our way.
So things are getting clearer, I should have a new address by next week and I've been preparing by packing when I can and getting rid of alot of "stuff" I've been hanging onto for reasons that I am no longer attached to. It feels scary, but relief all at the same time. I'm coming to terms that I will be a single mother and that all families look different and that's ok. My dreams will be answered in an alternative way and I look forward to all those days ahead (I've got LOTS of
dreams/goals you know! hee hee heee) and the strength and courage that I hope my kids will understand I had to have, one day when they've grown and or possibly had children of their own. I know they will blame me for something (we all blame our parents for something right?) or I'll royally screw them up in SOME way, I just hope it's not this - I hope they see how much I adore them, how much I want a better life for them and myself and I hope they see how they can have what they want too! - it will be hard work,.. but it can happen, I hope they get that nothing is impossible, and dreams can be realized regardless of the situation or age. Yes, that's what I hope they grow up to take with them in their hearts, and I believe I have and will continue to teach them these values everyday when I look into their deep baby blues and they open up their little sweet smelling arms for that morning hug & kiss. *ahhhh SIGH*I Love Being a Woman & A Mother - there is no greater job or gender on earth! *sorry guys, I love ya - no really I do, but we really are ruling the world here... we're just smarter at letting you think you are.. AHAHAHAH
HAVE a SUPER DAY ... P.S. I missed you all. and thank you to all who have supported me physically, mentally and otherwise over these last few weeks - you have all been amazing - I Love Ya - you really know who your family & friends are in these kinds of situations
BIG HUGS xoxooxox
No comments:
Post a Comment